DEEP GROWTH COACHING · OXFORD
Something keeps
getting in the way.
Six conversations, one steady relationship, and lasting change that reaches your community.
On paper, it’s working. The work, the friends, the things you’ve said yes to. And still, you feel further from God and the people around you than a year ago. There’s a gap between who you are and who you sense you could be.
You’re not the only one. Young adults are now Britain’s Loneliest age group, and more than one in five under-35s has one close friend or none.
When pressure comes, some of us go quiet and carry it alone, because someone has to be strong. Others hold on tighter, and feel people drift away. Most of us have tried to change: read the book, made a plan, prayed more. It worked, for a while.
We can know something in our heads long before we know it in our bones. We can know we’re loved and still not feel it. Trying harder, learning more, and chasing the good feeling all reach for control. Lasting change comes through connection, in a relationship steady enough to let you be known, and honest enough to call you forward.
That’s where this work begins.
A structured process built around your story.
Deep Growth Coaching centres on one question: what would it look like for you to flourish?
We start with what brought you here, then turn quickly to your vision: who you’re called to become. From there, we work backwards into the patterns that shape how you move through life: how you connect with others, how you experience yourself, and how you relate to God.
By the end, you’ll have language for what’s been happening beneath the surface, practical tools to start doing something about it, and a plan shaped by your own story.
Six sessions. One arc.
Each conversation builds on the last, from vision to pattern to practice to plan.
Some people come back a few months later for a check-in, and to mark what’s changed.
SESSION 1
Your Story
Whatever you brought here, a hard season or a new hope, we treat it as an invitation. We picture who you’re becoming, look at the relationships that shaped you, and end with one small step toward that vision.
SESSION 2
You and God
Wherever you are with faith, we look honestly at how God feels to you right now: what feels close, what feels distant, and how other relationships might be shaping it.
SESSION 3
People in Your Corner
What’s it like to have people who comfort you and spur you on, and to be that for others. We look at how you tend to connect now, then begin practising secure connection: receiving it, and offering it.
SESSION 4
The Patterns Underneath
The feelings and reactions that kick in under pressure. We name them, trace where they came from, and find the moments where you can choose differently.
SESSION 5
Rewiring
Practical tools for calming your body and responding differently when old patterns show up, chosen to fit how you’re made. What felt impossible can start to feel natural.
SESSION 6
Your Way Forward
Before this session, you’ll complete a short, research-based assessment. We look at your strengths and where you’d like to go deeper, then choose one practice and a plan for what comes next.
Sense there’s more?
You find yourself drawing people together.
People lean on you, for comfort and courage.
You’re driven to see change, and you come alive building something new.
You can’t give what you don’t have. Imagine knowing what a flourishing relationship feels like, and being that for the people who lean on you. Discovering God’s love, and secure enough in who you are to be vulnerable. Able to see people for who they are, and release their best. Wholeness, spreading through your relationships, your family, your work, your community.
I want to be honest: I work from a Christian understanding of God, relationships, and what it means to be human, and I hold that openly. You don’t need to share it. As the sessions progress, questions about God and spiritual experience will naturally come up. Wherever you’re starting from, I think they’re worth exploring together, and we can talk through that before you commit to anything.
What to expect
This isn't counselling or therapy, and it's more than a course. It's a relationship with a purpose: moving forward to together. I show up as a growth companion, someone to think things through with, and the quality of our relationship is part of how the work happens. And it rarely stops there. Our conversations, and the small practices you take from each session, are meant to carry into your relationships and your community.
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Six sessions.
Usually 90 minutes each
🌱
Every 1-2 weeks.
Enough space to sit with what comes up between sessions
👍
Free.
Made possible by people who believe in this work.
🔍
One assessment.
A short online tool (about 10 minutes) before the final session
☕️
Coffee first.
We start with an informal coffee. Sessions are in person or by video call.
🗓
2-3 months.
Start to finish, with a personal practice between each session
Thomas Kirven
GROWTH COMPANION · OXFORD
I know what it’s like to look fine on the outside and feel stuck on the inside. What changed me was people who stayed steady with me, and I’d love to be that for you.
Rachel and I live in Oxford with four of our five children. Through Grow for Good, I mentor young adults and leaders navigating questions of meaning, identity, and belonging.
My training is in psychologist Dr Todd Hall’s Relational Spirituality Coaching, which draws on attachment science, intentional change research, neuroscience, and spiritual formation. My faith is central to who I am and how I work.
I work with a small number of people at a time. Wondering whether this is for you? Let’s start with coffee.